The Power of your Presence

Before I reassessed my boundaries I was a “YES” person but this only left me depleted and drained both mentally and physically. I was a people pleaser at work, with partners, and friends. This was my FOMO and probably ego in overdrive. This notion made me dependable but too available and in some areas of life it worked in my favor, like overtime my paychecks were good for a 21 year-old but I burned out pretty quick. It was a conversation with a former boss that shifted my view: “I love working with you, you’re so zen.” Emitting this notion of “zen” while the ship was sinking was my forte I quickly learned, and I made her look good since she was an unorganized manager. On the surface one can be put together, but behind the scenes it can be messy and constant firefighting (like Rebecca from Ted Lasso). Working in this type of environment for too long activates stressors in the body, it’s not sustainable long-term, your body physically won’t allow it. That’s when I knew it was time to look for a new job. In terms of my career, I no longer wear the “works well under pressure,” as a badge of honor. Instead, I try to find the root cause of why there is constant pressure to operate this way and correct that behavior. Most of the time, overcomplication, doing too much, or trying too hard kills the flow. I appreciate entering spaces where you can visibility see the sigh of relief on someone’s face knowing you’re there to offer a hand or share the load. Most empaths have this ability to convey a feeling or emotion without saying anything, it's a true skill and something I look forward to when building or organizing teams. Conveying a sense of calm as a leader has a ripple down effect but the caveat is knowing your entire team’s strengths and weaknesses on the individual level. Here ARE, my tips for keeping calm, cool and collected as a leader (or parent) under pressure and yes my affinity for acronyms continues.

Assess all the variables

- Practice active listening and read between the lines of what’s the real problem, issue, or ask before assuming. Bonus work on your poker face and try not to let information fluster you.

Respond vs. react

- Hold your impulse to judge or to quick fix, much like the assessment portion, have you gathered the information from all sides? Also consider, is the solution sustainable for long or short term.

Express not repress

- Has everyone had a chance to speak their mind? At times, silence speaks volumes, no answer is an answer for some for me, it’s best to read the room.

The power of your presence is a superpower if you know how to read the room, stay collected and know how to actively listen. With practice soon you’ll be “zen” in any space you find yourself in.